Marriage Advice From My Mother

My Maid of Honor made a scrapbook of letters written to me from the women who love me the most. The scrapbook was given to me the day before my wedding. My mom's letter shares marriage advice that's too good not to pass along.

I posted a picture of my the letter to my Instagram story a couple of weeks ago and received a ton of positive feedback and interaction. I had so many people reaching out to tell me that they had taken a screenshot of the letter so they could read it when they needed some marriage advice. 

I read this letter often (rarely without tearing up). It's too good not to share: 

Dear Carson,

            Tomorrow is your WEDDING DAY!!!  You will change your last name to Blake. You will make your biggest commitment of your life in front of God, family and friends in the very church you grew up in.  Your wedding will mark the beginning of a brand new, first time ever, family, Zeke and Carson Blake.

            You must know your father and I are incredibly proud of you.  You are fearless and confident in everything you do and always have been. It is your nature to excel in everything you set out to accomplish.   

             You already know things worth doing sometimes require constant work.  Such is the case with marriage. Next to raising children, marriage and staying married is very hard work.  You will have your challenges.  There will be good times and bad times.  Hang in there!  Always put Zeke first (after God) and in return he will put you first.  He needs to be your priority, as you are his.  Even after you have kids, put him first.  This advice also requires you to practice patience all the time.

            Think first then speak!  Boy oh boy do I have trouble with this!  I read many years ago that the person who is doing the most arguing/talking is usually the one who is wrong.  Remember, when you think and speak highly of someone, you allow them to stand taller and rise up to their full, God–given potential.  If you want an exceptional husband, speak of him in exceptional ways. Regard him with admiration and respect.  I read that recently and I think it is powerful!

            Pick your battles wisely. Otherwise build a bridge and get over it!

            The best advice I ever got was from your Granny and Papa Dean.  It wasn’t so much advice as it was the way they lived.  They would PRAY first about everything.  Nothing is insignificant to God. He already knows what you need or are going through.  It pleases God when you talk to him. I know you know this because you do call me and ask for prayer.  Don’t be afraid to ask for prayer from other Christians.  As you know, there is power in prayer.  I pray that you and Zeke will continue to pray as a couple and to look to God to be your guide.  There is nothing too big for God!  Don’t forget to give thanks daily as well. 

            Stay in touch with your girl friends! They will be an excellent source of free therapy!!! Just be mindful of what you discuss. 

            Choose to be happy!  You are blessed!  Don’t dwell on past mistakes.  Learn from them and move on.  Forgive and let go.

            And speaking of love, I love Zeke and welcome him to our family. 

            I will close with these words from my favorite book that I would read to you and your brothers often.  I was hard for me to get through it without crying a little even then.

            I love you forever. I love you for always.  As long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.

            And I will try not to cry through the entire ceremony.

It’s getting real!

I love you more,


May 11, 2018



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